Secret Societies: By Mike

Blue Clearance Required-Lesser citizens report immediately to IntSec

Newly discovered Secret Societies in Alpha Complex

This is the first of an ongoing series of bulletins on newly discovered threats within Alpha Complex.

The Flat Earth Society

Beliefs: The Computer does not exist. The "Computer" is nothing more than an elaborate hoax, designed and perpetuated by the powerful "High Programmers" to enforce their own positions of power. Haven't you ever wondered why the Computer spouts so much nonsense? Whenever the High Programmers don't have time to speak for the Computer, its conversations are managed by a simple Q&A program designed to give canned responses to certain key words. If it doesn't recognize your question, it simply replies, "Not authorized at your security clearance." Ever been baffled by seemingly contradictory orders from the Computer? That's because there is no Computer. It's all High Programmers manipulating us and using us as slave labor. Well, we've had enough, and it's time to expose these charlatans for what they are and take back our lives.

Friends: Mulderians, Death Leopard, Free Press, Humanists, PURGE. Actually, Flat Earthers have many friends, but except for the Mulderians, all of them think the Flat Earthers are completely off their nut.

Enemies: First Church of Christ Computer Programmer/Assemblers of God.

General Description: Actually, the Flat Earth philosophy is quite seductive. Once you are in on this ultimate cruel joke, a lot of things start to make sense: Why are so many things hidden from the ordinary people? Why does the "Computer" contradict itself so often? Why do high programmers wield so much power when the Computer is supposed to be the only authority? Why is Alpha Complex not a utopia if this "Computer" is so smart?

Originally, just a sect of the Mulderians (see our next Paranoia article), the Flat Earth Society shares their conspiratorial nature and extreme paranoia. A typical Flat Earth group will meet once or twice each weekcycle in total secrecy, to coordinate and share ideas. Most of their efforts are devoted to gathering enough evidence to finally expose the high programmers and their elaborate sham against the citizens of Alpha Complex. However, the meetings almost always devolve into whining about how easily fooled the masses are and how evil and devious the high programmers are in their misinformation. There is a general belief among Flat Earthers that once the truth is out, suddenly there will be mass enlightenment and the populace will be free of the manipulations of the highprogrammers. How exactly any of this is supposed to happen and what exactly society members should do at that point is really rather vague, but that's probably for the best, because if current behavior is any indication, then no matter how much "evidence" the Flat Earthers have stacked up, they will never seem to think it is quite enough to finally make their move.

Advancement: Things that will get you ahead as a Flat Earther: 1) Exposing contradictory elements of the Computer and its works to help display its false nature (this is incredibly dangerous). 2) Foiling and/or reducing the power of high programmers who created and who perpetuate this Computer myth. The Flat Earth Society has a particular hate for high programmers, so anything that hurts an Ultraviolet citizen will raise a member's status in the eyes of the society.

Special Rules: The Flat Earth Society spends a lot of time examining the motives and actions of high programmers and the "Computer." As such, it's members are actually quite versed on high level Alpha Complex procedure. With the exception of the Computer's reality, most of the information is quite accurate. Society members can often get information about and access to high programmers and their close associates just by asking around the Society.

A Typical Flat Earth Conversation:

Flat Earther: "Does anyone else think it's strange that the 'Computer' asked us to dig these holes out in the middle of nowhere, and before we get done, it's having us fill them in again? Doesn't that seem… unusual?"

Troubleshooter: [draws laser] "Are you questioning the Computer's wisdom?"

Flat Earther: "No, not at all. I was just making an observation that the 'Computer' orders us to do one thing and then immediately orders the opposite. It doesn't make sense, does it?"

Troubleshooter: "He is! He is! He's questioning the Computer's wisdom! Traitor! Traitor!"

Whole team: [laser laser laser]

Free Press

Beliefs: Knowledge is power. Information is the great equalizer. The Computer and High Programmers know this and conspire to keep the rest of Alpha Complex in ignorance. It is our duty to inform the public. The citizenry of Alpha Complex has a right to know what goes on behind the scenes. The bureaucracy of Alpha should be transparent. The truth shall set you free!

Friends: Most of everybody… except maybe the FCCCP and the Commies. Everyone loves the information gathering abilities of the Free Press, but many groups become annoyed when a Free Press reporter publishes something contrary to their own version of the truth.

Enemies: FCCCP, Commies.

General Description: Free Press believes that the public has the right to be informed, and it is the duty of the Press to seek out and publish all the secrets that the Computer and the High Programmers would like to keep from us. They are extremely popular, and their services are sought out by everyone from Free Enterprise to PURGE. Even those who despise the Free Pressers' mission-- like Internal Security, CPU, and High Programmers themselves-- occasionally find them useful. Free Pressers, though, will sometimes keep secrets for a price; their specialty is power through blackmail.

Free Press members will occasionally meet in person to share information and methods, but most often, they meet by way of their numerous secret communication networks. They have illicit online discussion areas, hijacked intercom systems, and even use of abandoned vacuum tubes. If there's a way to share information, the Free Pressers have appropriated a corner of it for themselves.

Advancement: There is no formal structure within Free Press, but members (or "Reporters," as they like to style themselves) can gain status within the group by uncovering and sharing secrets. Finding ways to disseminate these secrets to the public (especially ways that don't get you killed) will also elevate a Reporter in the eyes of his peers.

Special Rules: Free Press members have access to more information that any other secret society. Members' requests for info will usually produce numerous responses. However, while they usually get a correct answer to any given query, they also usually get three versions of the "truth" along with a dozen unfounded rumors, two outright lies, and the occasional stray piece of misinformation. Getting information is never a problem. It's sorting fact from fiction that causes Free Press reporters to have nightcycle sweats.

A Typical Free Press Conversation:

Free Presser: "Nice shot, sir."

Team Leader: "Thank you, citizen. I trained under Annie-O-KLY-4."

Free Presser (with multicorder ready): "Impressive, sir. So do you think it was your special training or your Communist connections that got you promoted to team leader?"

Team Leader: "WHAT? Are you calling me a Commie?"

Free Presser (pushing the microphone closer): "Oh no, sir. It's just that I recently read a report about highly placed Communists securing benefits for their 'comrades.' I was merely wondering if you knew anything about it."

Team Leader: "Where exactly are you getting your information, citizen? In fact… (brings his laser up)… who ARE you? You're not part of this team."

Free Presser (quickly leaving): "Oh my! Look at the time."

The Correct Politicians

Beliefs: Life's not fair! The chromatically challenged among us are forced to handle the most dangerous and loathsome tasks, while the higher clearances sit around getting fat and lazy. Working conditions must be made safer. Compensation rates must increase. Non-organic sentients are treated as slave labor. We must have humane working conditions for our bots. Everyday, clones are pumped full of medications and nutrient additives that have been inadequately tested. The genetically challenged are people too. Being forced to wear a yellow stripe of shame is inhuman and degrading. The new foam in the fire extinguishers has been shown to cause cancer in traitors, and yet there they are on every corner. The term "clone" is dehumanizing, and we must remember that all citizens are people. For every bottle of Bouncy Bubble Beverage produced, six… You get the idea.

Friends: Romantics, Humanists, and on the right day, a Correct Politician may be focusing on a cause pleasing to any given group.

Enemies: FCCCP, Pro Tech, and on the right day, a Correct Politician may be focusing on a cause that will piss off any given group.

General Description: The Correct Politicians are unhappy with the inequities and injustices of life in Alpha Complex and constantly work to improve things. Every week, they seem to have a new cause (the oppression of scrubbots; toxins in the Infrareds' water supply; discrimination against the genetically challenged-AKA mutants; etc). They work fervently on the cause, spread awareness among their own group and to others as well. They draw up dramatic schemes for change, and then before any actual work begins, their attention will be caught by the next cause.

Special Rules: Most CP "causes" are outright treasonous, and the CP-ers try to disguise that by use of "proper" language-mutants are genetically challenged, traitors are loyalty impaired, bots are non-organic sentients. Recognizing a new unjust word or phrase and working up a more acceptable replacement is a good way to score points with the other CP-ers.

Correct Politicians are big on "awareness" of issues, probably because it's so much easier than "actually doing something." As such, they are a chatty bunch, and not good at keeping secrets. Most CP sects are heavily infiltrated by Internal Security, whose primary function is to be ready in case something ever happens. Otherwise, Correct Politicians are not taken very seriously. The Computer and Internal Security see it as a useful and harmless outlet for citizen dissatisfaction.

Advancement: Correct Politicians can get ahead in the organization by creating new CP terms, by discovering new causes, by spreading awareness of a cause, and by creating bold plans to correct injustice. The more esoteric the cause or the more extravagant the plan, the greater the reputation of the Politician.

Splinter Groups: The Correct Politicians tend to spawn more splinter groups and subsects than nearly any other society (except maybe the Mulderians). On quite a regular basis, a small handful of CP-ers will become particularly enamored of a certain cause and will devote their energies to that cause exclusively. Unfortunately for them, the heavy presence of IntSec officers in their midst means such groups are usually short-lived. Basically, once a splinter group actually commits to real action, they typically fade away quickly or are squashed by Internal Security.

A Typical Conversation:

Team Leader: "The savages are moving in quickly. You wait here, and we'll sneak around them as a diversion. When we give you the signal, you'll know you're clear to carry out the gas tanks."

Correct Politician: "It's because I'm tall, isn't it?"

TL: "WHAT?"

CP: "You think that because of my height, all I'm good for is lifting and carrying. You're sizist."

TL: "Look, the savages will be here any second, and you're the only one trained to handle the gas containment system! I don't have time for treason right now!"

CP: "See? It's exactly that elitist attitude that the higher clearances are being indoctrinated with. Words like 'treason' only exist to degrade those who are different from yourself."

TL: "Higher Clearance? We're both Red! I can't believe I have to… Oh great, now they've cut off our retreat. Everyone get ready. We'll have to blast our way out."

CP: "Understanding was never achieved at the end of a laser barrel, citizen… URK!"

[Author's Note: At this point, the Correct Politician dies a rather gruesome death. We leave it to the gentle reader to decide if it was the savages or her own teammates that did the deed.]

[CP's unceasing and grating voice in the author's head: Do you really think it's appropriate to call them "savages?"]