The Sexual Syfunction Thread.

Serious Paul · Midget Wrassler Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 7014

What sexual dysfunction does the poster above you have?
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TheFlayedMan · Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:36 pm Post subject:

He fucks computers, and Brasky. That's pretty dysfunctional.
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Invitat culpam qui peccatum praeterit

Ancient History · Evil Olsen Twin Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 2373

Flayed can only orgasm if a painting, statue, icon, or crucifix of Jesus is looking at him.
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Fuck you if you don't like it.

Cazmonster · White Rapper Joined: 29 Dec 2006 Posts: 4038

AH only gets off to webcomic tentacle hentai.
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"I like talking to my son, I like drawing him pictures, and I'm pretty sure I'll like taking him to the park or swimming." Bonefish

Jeff Hauze · Faux Metal Alchemist Joined: 06 Mar 2007 Posts: 5658

Caz gets off looking at overpowered engines and nailguns side by side.
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Brasky · Married Black Male Joined: 26 Oct 2006 Posts: 15730

Gauze has never had an orgasm, even by his own hand.

TheFlayedMan · Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 12:42 am Post subject:

Brasky made me preggers.
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Invitat culpam qui peccatum praeterit

Serious Paul · Midget Wrassler Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 7014

Is a Necrophiliac, but can only get erect with a combination of crisco and home and garden mags.
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SumDumTrim · Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:28 am Post subject:

Has a penchant for small woodland creatures and the occasional naughty hamster.
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Hello? - Her
Sorry, it's nothing. - Him
What? - Her
It's just that I was thinking of how I could build a woman made out of sharp cheddar cheese with a bacon vagina. - Him
*WOW* buddy. I am sigging that. - Her

Jeff Hauze · Faux Metal Alchemist Joined: 06 Mar 2007 Posts: 5658

Can only get it on after watching On Golden Pond.
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Ancient History · Evil Olsen Twin Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 2373

"On Golden Pond" is the Hauze' watersports video, where he drinks Brasky's pee.
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Fuck you if you don't like it.

TheFlayedMan · Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:36 pm Post subject:

While He films it.
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Invitat culpam qui peccatum praeterit

Serious Paul · Midget Wrassler Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 7014

Can't achieve "completion" unless he's watching horse porn, while spanking it to the Rocket Man by Elton John, with a handful of foot cream and a Pomeranian in a Captain America outfit.
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TheFlayedMan · Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 4:24 pm Post subject:

Sucks on my toes to get off...it's really creepy.
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Invitat culpam qui peccatum praeterit

Jeff Hauze · Faux Metal Alchemist Joined: 06 Mar 2007 Posts: 5658

Gets off to Paul sucking on his toes while Mr. Irish Ginger up there is secretly watching from the closet. It's really hot.
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Ancient History · Evil Olsen Twin Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 2373

The Hauze can only have sex with his monogamous partner, and only in the missionary position, and only for the purposes of attempting to have children, never for fun.

Also, he has forearms bigger around than most people's thighs, a stack of porn you could bury a man in, and he has to shave his palms to prevent rugburn on his dick.
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Fuck you if you don't like it.

Raygun · Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:46 am Post subject:

No need to repeat this.

Lucy · Nigerian Scammer Joined: 02 Nov 2006 Posts: 7116

Still wants his mommy & the maternal mammaries. No shame in that, though. I assume that his eagerness to be violated by Brasky is an attempt at self-cure. Meanwhile, Angel is in the beer-maiden costume, holding the two large jugs of stout.

SumDumTrim · Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 5:15 am Post subject:

She secretly scribbles "Mrs 3278" in her diary for over an hour each day and then spends a great deal of alone time in the shower.
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Hello? - Her
Sorry, it's nothing. - Him
What? - Her
It's just that I was thinking of how I could build a woman made out of sharp cheddar cheese with a bacon vagina. - Him
*WOW* buddy. I am sigging that. - Her

Cazmonster · White Rapper Joined: 29 Dec 2006 Posts: 4038

SDQ/T a hot session of Lobstering from time to time.
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"I like talking to my son, I like drawing him pictures, and I'm pretty sure I'll like taking him to the park or swimming." Bonefish